For a married couple to resolve current conflicts, they must first clean up the past. Many times our current conflicts are tied to things in the past that were never resolved. In this series on marriage, I will cover different steps that should be considered in order to clean up the past. To do so, I will share of my own experience in these areas.
The first and foremost thing to remember when addressing failures and secrets from our past, is to be 100% honest about them. One of the reasons I believe Jenny and I were able to come through this horrible time of exposure of my moral failure was that we faced the truth together. In Psalm 51:6 it says, “Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.” We knew that in order for freedom to come, we had to bring every hidden sin to the light, and commit to being completely honest and open with each other.
It’s easy to make our sin look prettier than it really is by not being totally honest. There is always a tendency to whitewash our sin. If you don’t commit to being completely honest however, you will never be free. A husband must be totally honest with his wife and not minimize his sin.
When I started telling Jenny my failures I made them seem very small, saying it was no big deal. Then I was convicted, and I went back to Jenny with the more accurate picture. It was only when I committed to being one hundred percent honest that I began to experience freedom.